Breaking Dumb

So I'm listening to the little girls playing outside my window, hearing them pretend to amputate one another's legs because a rabid shark attacked them and now they have to raise money to pay for the surgery but they are having a difficult time finding the funds for the growing the medical bills (sounds like an episode of House or Grey's Anatomy...), and thinking how I miss playing. I miss pretending to have my leg amputated. I miss pretending I'm a poor woman who lives in a shack (my closet) but has found an unwanted orphan (my cabbage patch doll) and must feed and clothe it. I miss pretending I'm a fox with an incredibly large and fluffy tail, and I'm escaping from the pound (never mind what a fox is doing in a dog pound..) *sigh* I miss childhood.

I can't say that I'm too far removed, though, from childhood, since I was at a child's event on Friday. I'm only slightly ashamed to admit that I was at the Breaking Dawn opening event this last Friday. It was interesting to see all the 13 year old girls I had to push out of my way, trying to pretend I was looking for my 13 year old daughter. I could see the look of confusion in the young people's eyes, as they wondered what that old person -me -was doing at their event. Don't worry. I acted really cool and smooth throughout the entire thing. I only punched a girl in the face once, when she was reaching for the same Edward and Bella calendar as I was. And when another girl raised her hand during the Twilight trivia game and answered it wrong, I refrained from screaming expletives in her face, remarking only that she was the most brainless wanna-be-fan ever. I mean, who doesn't know how many times Edward mentions Bella's name in the first and second book? Thats like Twilight 101. Basic Twilight knowledge. And when a girl wearing a t-shirt with her first name and 'Cullen' as her last name walked by, I only gave a gentle shove, just so her nose bled a little bit when it hit the floor. So really, I wasn't super noticeable as I ranked everyone in age by at least 10 years (with the exception of my dear friend who went with me. Only she went because she really does have a 12 year old...). But I just want to report that I read it, it wasn't my favorite, and I'm actually really over the whole series now. Truly. I only wear my 'Twilight Fanatic' shirt to bed every other night now. Just kidding though. Seriously. I'm over it.

Umm... Josh just read that over my shoulder and asked me tone it down a bit. He said that there are people out there who might read this and consider me an incredible volatile individual, ready to explode at any moment. Let me just clarify. I'm an incredibly volatile individual who is ready to explode at any second. Really though? I only fantasize about relieving my aggression. I rarely act it out. That was supposed to make you feel comfortable around me again.