Monday, April 18, 2011

Booty Shorts

I thought about doing a post without mentioning the boys, but who am I kidding? My entire life revolves around these two and their issues.

Here is Chet with hair. Hair makes him angry. This must have been a month ago.

Here is Chet in the process of losing his hair. Rip lost his hair too, but a lot earlier. And yes, Chet spends a lot of his life in the bjorn. This makes him happy, only he doesn't look happy, he looks surprised. Either way, he doesn't cry in the bjorn, and so I don't feel like leaving him at a homeless shelter while he's in the bjorn. It works.

This is Rip sucking down a bottle. He is off bottles, only he isn't when he asks for one. What can I say, I could care less if the kid gets a bottle of milk (Josh feels differently, but as soon as he spends 24 hours a day with the offspring, his feelings will matter). And you can't see, but he's pointing to Chet. Usually when Chet is crying and I'm not in the room, Rip will find me and pull on my legs until I go and pick Chet up. He doesn't like it when he cries. Chet isn't crying, but he might have made a noise. Rip likes to point out anything Chet does (i.e. nothing) to me. Chet makes a noise, Rip laughs and points at him. Yes, Rip. Chet is absolutely fascinating.

And this is our newest solution to Rip being obsessed with the computer. Strap on the headphones and then we don't have to listen to the annoying kids' stuff he insists on watching (for some reason, Rip has no interest in Shark Tank). Never mind that the headphones are huge. With this kid's genetics, he's doomed for a life of small headedness. Headphones will always be huge.

Yup. Rip has discovered the toilet to be the most fascinating thing in the entire world. He loves finding things to put in it, putting his hands in it, and driving his cars in it. He has only just realized he can actually put his feet in it, and this has taken his love for the toilet to the next level.

But I do think it deserves mentioning that I played in the UVU alumni game this last Saturday. Now, I know I'm old and all, but when did girl soccer players start tucking their shorts into their underwear? And why? We were playing at 6 pm; no chance of tan lines. I'm still not over it. All I could focus on was the 25 feet of thigh (these girls were tall) being exposed and the inevitable wedgie you know where. Disturbing. Very disturbing. So if you're 18 and playing soccer, please explain to my why rolling your shorts to sheer skankiness helps you play better. Maybe  a diversion? Can't be sure. Only thing I'm sure about is that the length of the shorts on these girls could not be more than 2 inches and Barbie wears more fabric. Hmm. Maybe I'm older than I think.

Also, Josh got the fellowship so we will definitely be heading to New York this fall. So if you're interested in buying basically everything we own, since we are bound to live in some kind of glorified bomb shelter and will be unable to fit any of it in the said bomb shelter, please email me. Items for sale include house, lawn mower, car, computer, skis, soccer shorts measuring longer than 4 inches, Chet, and couches that Chet has redecorated with his puke. Remember, these items will go fast, especially the puke couch, so email me soon.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Update Update!!

Here is an update with no pictures. Sorry. A combination of not taking any and not being sure how to get them off the camera makes for a very sad blog indeed. Pretty sure I was born in the wrong time period. Here  goes anyway.

Chet is still a baby. Although he is just barely 3 months, it seems like he should be 12 years old by now. Time stands still when you have a newborn. He smiles, laughs, and does basically nothing. Chet loves the bjorn and will sit strapped to my chest for hours. He even falls asleep that way. Again, he basically does not have much going on.

He did sleep through the night for a week or two, but has since decided that going too long without eating is completely out of the question. He even reverted to waking up twice a few nights ago. Needless to say, I was not impressed. I have also not been impressed with his reflux. If you've ever had a baby with reflux, I'm sorry. It's awful. Projectile vomiting throughout the entire day plus crying while eating makes for one sad baby and one angry mom. However, we've been giving him some medicine for it and it has worked wonders. He still spits up and still doesn't nurse for longer than 5 minutes at a time, but it's a vast improvement and I'm sure very interesting information for everyone.

Rip is 19 months old and is way more interesting than Chet. He is NAUGHTY but way more entertaining. His favorite things include using my makeup brushes to apply makeup on Chet, making out with Chet, and thinking about making out with Chet. He likes Chet. A lot. He is also loves all things boy. He loves cars, balls, wrestling, and being wussy.

Josh is currently in Ithaca, New York, interviewing for a fellowship that will pay for the entirety of school. If you don't know, Josh is going back to school for his MBA. We plan on going to Cornell this fall (yes, the same school as the Nard Dog), and are still unsure what we're doing with our house, so don't ask unless you want to buy it for millions.

Me. Hmm... not much going on. I'm currently not pregnant so that feels sort of eventful. I'm preparing for a half-marathon, which only involves running at the most twice a week. Yeah, I'm either going to die or just run the first mile and then call it quits. I should probably train better, but when am I going to manage that? I'm a full time breastfeeder. Chet eats every two hours and sometimes sooner (again, reflux is the bane of my existence). I feel like my entire job is feeding that kid and trying to keep the puke down. It's exhausting. Not to mention disgusting. Anyway, nothing that new or exciting about me, other than I just ordered a new breast pump. Josh got a new computer and asked me, "Hey, since I'm getting a new computer, do you want a new breast pump?" Wow. So that's where things are at, then? Sad. Even more sad that I took him up on it. Hello Medela!