Today, while getting ready to face the world by applying thick sheets of makeup, I made a remarkable discovery. I could easily pass for 33 years old (I'm 23 by the way; if you thought I was older, I am coming to find you so I can torture you by making you listen to Josh rave and talk about his new Iphone. Seriously. Its the worst ever. You will beg me to kill you, but I won't, because then it wouldn't be torture; it would be compassion). I am deteriorating and aging at an incredible rate, and I can't say that I approve, although I can't say that I'm surprised either.
I was never one of those girls who was mistaken to be 13 when I was really 18 (my sister Britt), quite the opposite actually. People always assumed I was older than I was. People shopping in stores would ask me where to find a certain size, whereupon I would shake my head in confusion and crawl back into my stroller, reaching up for my binky. I thought that that was pretty awesome until I got a little older and waiters started asking me if I'd like an extra plate for my dentures and a straw for my pudding. It stopped being awesome right about then.
But I can't say that I am completely shocked, considering I've watched my body die since I was 16; thats about when my body hit it's peak, and since then, everything has been downhill. The veins are multiplying like bunnies, my skin is actually running out of room for wrinkles, and every part of my body seems to find a new way to sag. *sigh* I don't suppose going to bed at 3pm would be such a bad thing, considering I'm halfway there, but the waking up at 4am would definitely suck.
I have always found the impending veins in my legs to be inevitable enough, a flaw not my own, but of faulty genetics (thanks a lot mom and dad; the veins in my dad's legs could slice through a melon). The lines on my face I have mostly myself to blame, but I suppose I could put up a fight on that one since my mother wasn't officially abusive in forcing me to wear sunscreen every time light touched me, whether by actually being outside or just standing near a window. I cannot, however, blame anyone but myself for my anxiety lines. Yes, I have anxiety. Josh will testify. Actually, anyone that has spent a great deal of time with me can testify. Its that weird thing where I continually bite my cheeks? Remember it? Maybe not. Well, because of it I now not only have dents and slashes in my cheeks from all the aggressive biting, but actual lines, too! Isn't life grand? On top of trying to cover the bags under my eyes, the lines circling my eyes, and the baggage underneath my chin, I can now add to my list of problems, the lines around and above my mouth where my skin creases because of this formidable habit. It isn't like smokers' lines, but much more random and haphazard-looking. My sister Meg actually has the same cheek-biting problem and now probably the same lines. That sort of makes me feel better. I hope her face looks like someone drew all over it, too.
These pictures are from an 'Old Persons' party we went to. Our friends have themed parties and one of them was old people. I look pretty convincing, right?
9 comments:
awesome.
Vanity Vanity Vanity! You do not look old---do not need makeup like you think and you are really quite a beautiful girl even if you did sunbathe and you shouldn't have. I think you actually look quite cute as a "old person". I wish I looked so good! I love you MOM
I agree with your mother...
Also, I never thought you were older than you are. In fact, I still have a hard time believing that you are older than me.
not as convincing as that lady on the right? I don't know if it is the angle of the picture or what, but she did a good job. You guys do look pretty spectacular though too. I feel you on the skin damage though. At least the dermatologist is not telling your mom behind you back about your sun veins in your cheek so as not to make you feel bad about it. Doesn't he think I have noticed them by now. geez.
You only looked older than you were because you're always so dolled up, not because of lines, veins or any such thing. And trust me, when you're 31 going on 32 (like me!)you'll realize how HOT you were at 23. I'm sure by the time I'm 40 I'll think I looked amazing at 31, and so on.
Older people wear makeup to look younger, so if a younger person is wearing a lot of makeup, it's assumed they are older. Get it? And starting as a teenager you always wore more makeup than you needed...you're more of a natural beauty than you think.
Curse those blasted veins in the legs...that is one genetic trait I could do without! You just wait. They get more and more plump, blue and gushy as you have children and time ticks on. Ugh. I'll shut up now ;)
Ah Court, this put a smile on my face. It was hilarious! Yes, aging is bad. I actually don't care too much about the lines and stuff, it is more the sagging love handles. You look great, though, so I don't think you should complain....yet. Like Nat said, it only gets worse. Wait until you are 30 before you start complaining.
I must say though, that Nat looks amazing at 30, so hey, maybe we will be the same?
You all look amazing! Don't you all look like me? smile----I love you MOM
You are the most beautifully wrinkled lady! If I ever come to Cali, can I stay with you? I miss your antics.
Court, Nat is right in telling you to appreciate what you have now. I look back at pictures of me at 28 or 30 and wonder how I ever thought I looked old then, and why didn't I appreciate it while I had SOME tone to my skin. Believe me, 35 is when all hell breaks loose on your body. The National Geographic topless African ladies have nothing on me. And yet, mysteriously, I am more comfortable with myself and my body than ever before. You just have to walk around and look at people and say to yourself, "At least I don't look like THAT." BTW, ain't nothin' ages the body like havin' a baby. One doctor told me it was like adding 7 years to your body's age for every baby you have. So, Mom, you must be like, 114 years old. Damn, lady! You look good!
Post a Comment