Sunday, September 14, 2008

Six Flags baby!!

This weekend was way more fun than anyone else' weekend, and I'm here to tell you about it. To further contest the idea of me being antisocial, Josh and I did social things. We went out to eat on Friday night with our friends in Irvine and some of their friends. No, I don't have pictures so really, I could just be making this up to make myself sound awesome (only truly awesome people have friends who live in Irvine and only truly awesome people go out to eat with the said friends), but I'm not. I promise on the integrity of Nordstrom that we did in fact, go out to eat with Anjanette and James, and their friends who are now our friends also, Heather and Fabio (his actual name... he does not have a ponytail, much to my dismay). After we finished up a long dinner, Josh and I headed up north to LA, where we spent the night anticipating oue date with Six Flags. Six Flags was fun and great, but has anyone been there lately? Because I'm pretty sure that if you have, you most likely fall into the category of gangbanger, white trash, or latino trash. Seriously. The place is a dive and likely the breeding ground for everything STD-related.

When Josh and I first walked in, Josh took a look around and remarked, "We're probably the best-looking people here, and thats saying something." I couldn't agree more. I put together a pretty valid list of why not to take your children to Six Flags.
  1. You don't want your children to grow up wanting to be like either of the two blond lezbiens with piercings on every realm of their body, including inbetween their clevage.
  2. You don't want to have to explain to your children the reason why a man who is 40 years old is flirting and eyeing a 13 year old.
  3. You don't want to have to explain to the kids why they have to wear underwear, and the guy smelling like he just ran a marthon 7 weeks ago and still hasn't showered doesn't.
  4. You don't want to have to explain why the Europeans don't shower, because honestly, has anyone really figured that one out?
  5. You don't want your kids hearing the spanish profanity, intermixed with the occasional woman over 60 dropping the F bomb.
  6. You don't want your kids asking if they can have beer in their bottles too, all the other toddlers get to!
  7. You don't want your kids picking up the gang signs, being flashed between rival gangs while in line to get slurpees.
  8. You don't want your kids contracting syphilis just by touching the hand rails.
  9. You don't want to have to give your children the sex talk, just because they witnessed two people doing it while in line to go on Goliath.
  10. You don't want your children asking you what "Get the *&#@ away from the %$#$ing !@*%, you %*#ing *&!@! And $#@# you, too, you wanna-be *%$!! And *&^% that!" means. It isn't so cute when your three year old says, "Mommy? Can I have a *$&#ing drink?"
Six Flags was awesome and if you like roller coasters, I recommend it. If you like the eternal salvation of your soul, however, I don't recommend it. Not really, though. Just close your eyes, plug your nose, and avoid touching anything or anyone and you'll be just fine.

I should mention that on our way back from Six Flags, we went to dinner with some other friends in Dana Point on the pier. That was actually quite a place to eat (not so much for the food, but the atmosphere). We were on the water, eating fish with Mike and Misty, when we realized that life isn't so bad after all.

8 comments:

aj said...

I'm seriously SO glad to hear that dinner with us was not, in fact, your last supper. We should definitely catch up again sometime soon. I'll teach you how to play Bocce Ball (although, if I'm being perfectly honest...the game is kind of lame).

Brett Asay said...

Christauna's Grandma and uncle live ten minutes from six flags. So I know what you're talking about. Knotts Berry Farms is more run down than Six Flags, so you should put it on your calendar. I'd be interested in hearing about your experience. Though you see worse when you go to Disneyworld. Talk about giant women in bikinis, it's rather disturbing. You should also put Florida on your calendar. Orlando in the summer :)

Natalie Scott said...

Hmmm, I've always wondered why we haven't hit 6 flags in San Antonio yet. I always attributed it to our kids being too young for that kind of thing. Now I see why we've really avoided it. I guess we'll stay loyal to Sea World where all the moms from the suburbs come in their SUVs and giant wedding rocks.

Natalie Scott said...

P.S. You guys are walking advertisements! Go Calle.

Ryan wants those shorts, Josh. Maybe bring us a pair when you come? We'll BUY them this time ;)

megship said...

Oh man, that was hilarious! You guys look so cute! Next time you should just wear Josh's underwear as your bra and you will fit right in. I wish Josh was coming this weekend too.....

megship said...

By the way, you are being way too social, in my opinion. Also, since when do you listen to all of MY music? I didn't know you liked punk music. I always thought you stuck to boy bands!

Hailstorm said...

The only time I went to 6 flags it was raining and pouring so we only got to go on like one ride. it was cool but whatever. at least we didn't have to pay to get in. I wish you wouldn't be so social, because I like to pretend, like it is with me, that Annie and I are your only friends. I haven't made any in your place! Anyway can't wait to see you wooohooo!!

Stephanie said...

Hey Court,

It's been a really long time, but it appears that now you guys are all going to have to tolerate being stalked by me (you can thank Brett, I found his facebook profile and tracked you all from there... mwa ha ha!) I like your antisocial post, btw... not negative, it just says the stuff that the rest of us want to!