Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Antisocial?

As I was sitting at work, trying to numb my mind to make the hideous task of inactivating 2000 patients from the 1950's less painful, I was thinking about having to hurry home to make some kind of salad for some friends' bbq. I was in the midst of thinking about how to get out of such an event, when it truly struck me that were it up to me, which it is obviously not, I would never for the rest of my life attend another social function. I was somewhat in awe as I considered that truly being happy had the motto of 'Leave me the hell alone' somewhere along it. I immediately felt shame for these thoughts, being that I'm married to Josh, the world's biggest lover of social gatherings, and he is always making comments on how antisocial I am and how I am a terrible person because of it. Then, when I really thought deeply about it (inactivating patients from the updated system requires no concentration whatsoever and I'm close to having the monkeys trained to perform this task without supervision), I was irritated about the shame I felt; why should I be made to feel as though solitude is an evil thing and being surrounded by nameless faces the better alternative? I hate having to sit amongst people and remain civil, without so much as a light punch to anyone's face. Its nearly unbearable not getting to punch anyone in the face in a day, you know, and I have had to live that way for nearly my entire married life! Josh doesn't think it acceptable to punch someone in the face when you disagree with them about reality tv shows or anything else of such high importance, and so he has made me promise I would not.

I should make it clear, however, that the social gatherings I refer to are not actual friends' social gatherings. They are gatherings with people you do not feel comfortable punching in the face or openly insulting, and they tend to involve things like smiling and shaking hands. I hate doing that, by the way, shaking a new acquaintance's hand. Its rather unbearable and I think that maybe we might like to switch the hand-shaking ritual to something more preferable, like kicking a new social contact in the shins. That would definitely be advantageous, since I guarantee there would be less social gatherings and people might actually put some thought into who they are meeting and being introduced to. You won't go to a random assembly without being pretty sure that you're going to like the people. It is way more responsible, really, and I plan on starting it immediately. I think then, I would not be invited to anymore outings (until the shin-kicking thing caught on, of course), and Josh could still go. I can't figure out why he doesn't just go to these things alone, but I guess its probably because he doesn't like to be alone at any point in time, and driving 10 minutes in the car alone would likely be the death of him.

7 comments:

Natalie Scott said...

You're just very much an Asay. We prefer to be among those we are close to who have high self-esteem and, like us, enjoy hours of sarcasm and insult. I think people don't understand our humor...so it's just WORK having to go to social gatherings and pretend we're friendly, nice people. Actually, I've always been very social and have liked social gatherings (Ryan, not so much), but as I get older I become more and more dad-like. It's just a lot of energy, y'know, to put on that pleasant face & avoid telling people what you REALLY think. ;)

That being said, I feel it important to mention that I AM the nicest of the sisters. ;)

Shelli said...

Also, I'm sure Josh likes to have a little piece of arm candy to show off to all these people that you would rather kick in the shin instead of shake their hands.

Maybe if you got really fat and shaved your head, Josh would let you stay home?

Just a suggestion.

Brett said...

I'm actually mixed on the topic. Most of it depends on my mood and who I'm going to be interacting with. Complete strangers are not my favorite. I like it even less when I'm with someone who knows everyone, and I know no one.

That being said, I'm not sure I would agree with Natalie being the nicest. I don't think there are any genuinely "nice" Asay-blooded people, Mom doesn't count because she's a Lane. I guess I'd have to say that I'm the closest to nice as an Asay can get.

rvasay said...

Courtney! I am going to kick you in the shins! Be nice to Josh and I think that you sometimes really have a good time being the life of the party as do your siblings so give it up kids----you are more like me than you think! I love you MOM

cameo said...

I'm right there with you, TV and ice cream at home is where it's at! (Not that that's technically what you said, but pretty much, right?)

megship said...

Yeah, I totally agree. It is an exhausting thing to go to an engagement of some sort and pretend you are not yourself. I generally either have to pretend I am a normal, non-sarcastic, pleasant person, or I offend everyone within two feet of me. It becomes an internal battle on which path I will take. Better just to not go at all, I say.

Just come back home and we will only communicate with one another. Sorry mom.

Kera said...

once again, laughing my head off. I wish we could have been better friends in my short lived time in Orem. Oh well.