So I thought I should let the general public -my sisters and friend, the only people who actually waste time reading this, -know that I will no longer be a complete waste of life and will be rejoining the workforce come this Monday. I have to say that I'm pretty devastated by the whole thing. I mean, who knew not working was about the best thing in the entire world? Certainly not I. I spent most of the time complaining about not working, and the rest of the time reading books on the beach. It wasn't such a bad deal now that I think about it. I got to do my two most favorite activities: complaining and reading (complaining is definitely the best thing in the world, and I take every opportunity to complain to Josh, myself, the air, the ants and any other object). I did a lot of eating in between the complaining and reading, so really, my life was completely perfect. I begin my work life in California in an orthodontist's office, being the primary insurance biller. Glory be. I can change the world with such a noble career path as that (sarcasm intended).
Does everyone else agree that Oreos are the most perfect, delicious, awe-inspiring cookie to have ever been processed, reprocessed, and then stuffed with preservatives? Seriously divine. Josh bought some for the kiddies (his sister and her kids are in town attending a funeral), and we did the only right thing. We gave the kids each two cookies, and then pounded the rest of them. Children may delight in the Oreo cookie, but they don't have the necessary reverence required in order to fully appreciate the sheer splendor of the black and white cookie. They gobble them down, without so much as a pleasured sigh! Its blasphemous. When I have kids, I will teach them right and never let them eat an Oreo without a silent prayer of thanksgiving. I mean, I didn't even see the kids close their eyes when their lips touched the crumbly goodness! Imagine! The little savages. They yapped up their two cookies (two cookies too many if you ask me; that would have been 6 more cookies for Josh and I, meaning 6 more cookies for me), and didn't even pay their respects to the wonder that is the Oreo. I was disgusted. I still am. I have considered writing their mother and father a letter, describing how irresponsible they are and what terrible parents they must be, not fully teaching their children how to properly worship Oreo cookies.
So I thought I should let the general public -my sisters and friend, the only people who actually waste time reading this, -know that I will no longer be a complete waste of life and will be rejoining the workforce come this Monday. I have to say that I'm pretty devastated by the whole thing. I mean, who knew not working was about the best thing in the entire world? Certainly not I. I spent most of the time complaining about not working, and the rest of the time reading books on the beach. It wasn't such a bad deal now that I think about it. I got to do my two most favorite activities: complaining and reading (complaining is definitely the best thing in the world, and I take every opportunity to complain to Josh, myself, the air, the ants and any other object). I did a lot of eating in between the complaining and reading, so really, my life was completely perfect. I begin my work life in California in an orthodontist's office, being the primary insurance biller. Glory be. I can change the world with such a noble career path as that (sarcasm intended).
Does everyone else agree that Oreos are the most perfect, delicious, awe-inspiring cookie to have ever been processed, reprocessed, and then stuffed with preservatives? Seriously divine. Josh bought some for the kiddies (his sister and her kids are in town attending a funeral), and we did the only right thing. We gave the kids each two cookies, and then pounded the rest of them. Children may delight in the Oreo cookie, but they don't have the necessary reverence required in order to fully appreciate the sheer splendor of the black and white cookie. They gobble them down, without so much as a pleasured sigh! Its blasphemous. When I have kids, I will teach them right and never let them eat an Oreo without a silent prayer of thanksgiving. I mean, I didn't even see the kids close their eyes when their lips touched the crumbly goodness! Imagine! The little savages. They yapped up their two cookies (two cookies too many if you ask me; that would have been 6 more cookies for Josh and I, meaning 6 more cookies for me), and didn't even pay their respects to the wonder that is the Oreo. I was disgusted. I still am. I have considered writing their mother and father a letter, describing how irresponsible they are and what terrible parents they must be, not fully teaching their children how to properly worship Oreo cookies.
7 comments:
Congratulations on the new job Court! I'm sad that you're working too. Now I'm the only worthless one in the family again. Just kidding. :)
Courtney You and your sisters have always had a disorder when it came to
oreo cookies! They are not that great! They even have them in Argentina, the regular kind, dulce de leche kind , vanilla cookie with chocolate in the middle kind and they
pretty much are the same. Congratulations on the new job----it will be fun to see kids in the orthdontist's office and be able to relate! I love you MOM
Aaaaahhh, the Oreo Cookie. I'm pretty certain they will have them in heaven. If they don't, well, then I don't want to go there. Mom just needs to be quiet...obviously we're not REALLY related to her.
Congratulations on being a contributing member of society again! Hopefully there will be cool people working in your office. That makes all the difference.
I agree, Oreos are the best, hands down. And I am glad you get Fridays off! Hallelujah! That will help with actually having to go to work. I always wondered why you complained so much about not having a job, sounds heavenly to me. Question: How many books would you say you read this last month:
And by the way, don't expect to enjoy your new job too much, I won't be there!
Oreos do rule but only dipped in milk. I actually get really annoyed when people eat them without dipping them in milk. It shouldn't be legal. Hooray for your new job!!!
Yeah Court! Good luck at your new job. I know you will do awesome, you always do. Hopefully free dental care is a bonus. I am sorry to say but I do not like oreo cookies. They are to dry and course not enough goo and moisture in them. Blah
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