one good, one bad, and one awful

Three things have happened to me this week. One good, one bad, and one being the worst possible thing to have ever happened to a living organism. Uh hum.

The good thing that has happened is that moths have finally come to the same conclusion I have. They are disgusting little smut bugs and they should all die. I walked into the bathroom and what did I see? A nasty little dead moth peeking at me! (Spring had brought me such a nice surprise, blossoms popping right before my eyes...) Man. If you could have heard the cheers! I was elated to discover that no one had actually put the vile thing in there, he just recognized his own wickedness and plunged into his watery grave. Excellent. I cannot truly describe how happy I was to find his limp form, floating on the toilet water, but I assure you it rivals only to how I feel about puppies. Pure ecstasy.

The bad thing that happened this week was when I was making an omelet and Josh asked me to make him one too. I cringed, but bit the bullet. I made a delicious ham and spinach omelet, with cheese and onions and salt and pepper and deliciousness, all scrambled together in some deliciously clever manner. Well, Josh takes one bite and says, "This is disgusting. You know I hate wilted lettuce!" First off, it's spinach and it isn't wilted, it's cooked. Second off, you can go *$%# 0$@%** in the &!!@ for all *&#$! Nobody asked you to eat my wilted lettuce omelet! I was mad and will continue to be mad for eternity.

The worst possible thing to happen actually took place last week. As I mentioned before, I went to another family's Thanksgiving. Everything went fine until we were rounding up to go (hours before the other people; yes, I'm a true Asay). I had made green bean casserole and was going to pick up my leftovers and dish, when I realized I was missing one. Not the dish, but the casserole itself! Now, I did in fact look for my leftovers, and actually found them all tucked away in someone else's tubberware in the fridge. I sat there, staring at my leftovers in their fridge, debating whether to just take them or to actually make some kind of scene, with lots of hand gestures and lots of shrieking and lots of blaming on whoever put weird fruit things in the stuffing... I decided to avoid the stuffing fight in the kitchen (seriously though. Who puts dried fruit junk in stuffing? That's just wrong.), and was ready to just take the food and run when one of the sisters asked me to help her with something. Uh huh. Likely story. She saw what was going to happen and nipped it in the bud. She wanted my green bean casserole! Ah! Dammit.

This wouldn't be such a tragedy if I didn't honestly hate cooking so much. I really hate it. There is nothing I like less than cooking (except moths, of course. But they seem to be less disgusting ever since they started killing themselves. I like dead ones way better than live ones...). So when I took the 30 minutes to prepare and cook the casserole, I was hoping for leftovers so that I could avoid making anything for the next 8 days (I only cook once every 8 days. Josh knows the rules. That's why he ate his wilted lettuce omelet anyways. He knew it was that or cereal).

Ahh! Josh just told me that he found the moth dead on the window sill and threw it in the toilet. I hate this week.