Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Learned

Being incognito has given me the opportunity to look at the world around me, and learn something. Here is a list of those somethings that I learned.
  1. Breast-feeding in a public place is both sickening and completely acceptable by social standards. While dining at the world-famous Quizno's, I was lucky enough to stumble on such an experience. I was hastily eating (is there any other way to eat?) a toasted turkey sub when the woman sitting across from me pulled out what appeared to be a boob, and began feeding her wanting child, only I don't know how wanting this child was since he didn't even cry. I was aghast, but found that no one else seemed to be. No blanket and no shame. Wonderful.
  2. I have been reading Scottish historical fiction type books placed in the 18th century and have found myself thoroughly involved with a 6'4'' red-headed Scot named Jamie. I love him. I will keep him safe from the Jacobite rising.
  3. I am a hobbit. I have hairy hands. I didn't really learn this but have known it for quite some time, but thought maybe of sharing some of my vast knowledge. Now you've learned something too.
  4. There are no worse words than, "I need a favor." 'Favor' really means 'something I know you don't want to do and I wouldn't dare ask you but being that we're related or have been friends for longer than 27 hours, I can phrase it this way and you really have no way of not doing it.' Asking a favor is as binding as any legal contract, but worse since there is guilt involved.
  5. I am by no means, a domestic goddess. I can't even pretend to call myself that, since I can only cook, bake, or heat up one dish a day. If I make breakfast, Josh can rest easy that I won't be making anything else that day. If I make him a sandwich for lunch, he is already unwrapping the frozen pizza box for dinner. He knows. I know. We know. I do not particularly enjoy cooking. I tried explaining this to my friend, Janette, last Saturday, as she drug me through the grocery store, apparently appalled that I wasn't planning anything for dinner that week. I tried to explain that we already had 4 boxes of cereal and that was more than enough, but she nearly shook with outrage when I said this and started throwing herbs and spices into my cart. I now have an unused lemon that will likely rot before I decide to do anything with it, some kind of weird cheese I've never heard of, a special pasta/rice that I'm supposed to soak or something, something called 'fennel,' and a whole lot more flour than I know what to do with. Can I microwave it?
  6. You should never joke about your boss while still at work, since he is likely also still at work. It happens that most of the people at my work went to a wedding on Sunday. I, never having met the happy couple, was being regaled in the happenings of the wedding, and more importantly, of the dancing that did/did not occur. One coworker of mine was impersonating our boss while dancing, when he walked right up behind her to say goodbye. I choked on my laughter, and she just choked.
  7. I'm pretty sure I don't have a conscience, since I stole a pumpkin from my bishop's garden. It was dangling over the fence, and I made Josh climb up and pluck it off. I now have a pilfered pumpkin on my porch.
  8. The power that the Eggo waffle holds over Josh is frightening. I could ask him to crush his Iphone and he would, if only for the promise of an Eggo. He loves Eggos as much as I love cereal, meaning that he would love nothing more than to jump into a pool of Eggos with his mouth wide open. In fact, I am currently listening to him talk to his Eggos, calling them 'precious' and the like. If I'm not mistaken, I'm pretty sure he just referred to them as 'beautiful little candy morsels.' I kid not. Crap. Now he's singing about them ("I can eat another 10 of those bad boys..." sung to the tune of Jingle Bells).
  9. There is nothing better in life than new clothes, and especially, new pants. New pants make a person feel whole and complete. Forget soulmates, give me Sevens.
  10. Fall is the best season in the entire world. California fall does not compare to Utah fall, but it's still fall.

11 comments:

Anjanette said...

Interesting. I just ate an eggo & Josh is right, they are delicious! I don't really like the plain ones...but the strawberry ones are yummmmy!

cameo said...

I wish I could say the same about jeans, I hate trying them on, I usually walk out with nothing but the depressed feeling of "I am fat." Oh well, I probably need to just splurge and spend 100s of dollars on pants, right?

Courtney said...

Yes.

Natalie Scott said...

I agree, I love new pants. Though I don't buy sevens. I stand by my opinion that there are starving people in the world and how can we spend 100s of dollars on a pair of jeans!? Maybe I'm just an old-timer.

Also? I breast feed in public. Sorry, Court, but I do. Though I am much more discreet. There is usually a blanket involved.

You are hilarious! We have eggos and I don't think Josh even knew it. Ha!

Steph said...

i must agree with all of these -- and the fact that i am a breastfeeding mommy now -- i still agree; cuz i wouldn't even entertain the thought in my head to just whip it out with no blankie or anything in public....in fact, i wouldn't much entertain the thought of doing that in public with a blankie if at ALL possible....which is why i stay home a LOT more now, and take bottles with me just in case I need to tend to my little boy's thirsts while I am out! just my thought on that issue -- now you learned something from me!

rvasay said...

Hmmmmmmmm------since when do you not like to cook? Didn't you post those beautiful rolls you made? I don't like to "have" to cook but when I have the time I like to make some things. You probably will too when you are old like me. I personally would just like to be able to wear pants! I love you MOM

Haylee said...

I have eggos every morning for breakfast and then cereal for my later morning breakfast. So I am pretty much on both of your sides. AS soon as we run out of the costco sized eggos, which holds like 500 packs, we immediately head to costco to replenish our freezer with eggos. And now I have to buy syrup a lot more too. hmmm? oh and I am wondering if you want to come to Utah and run a marathon with me in aug or sept of 2009. I am thinking about it and you are the only one who might do it with me. I need a friend.

Shelli said...

I have been waiting for weeks for this post.

1. I also am in love with Jamie. However, I think I like Roger more. But Jamie is pretty hilarious.
2. I had a very easy time picturing Josh and his Eggo, and that was quite the experience. It brought snickers and giggles.
3. You are right about breastfeeding. It is gross, and to be done in the most private of places or at least under the cover of a blanket. Also, speaking and blogging about nursing is NOT OK.
4. Too bad your lemon is not a lime. I have great uses for limes. As it is, I think you should just make Crystal Light lemonade and put the lemon in it. It makes you LOOK like a domestic goddess without actually being one.

megship said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I cannot wait to see you so we can talk about breastfeeding, hating cooking, and Josh's undying love for Eggos! Seriously, there isn't anything that makes me more uncomfortable than breastfeeding. I know it is a great and glorious thing but I am so glad my babies are bottle babies.

I do love pants but I love scrub bottoms more!

I HATE cooking. If I could hire one person it wouldn't be a house cleaner it would be a cook.

Now....start mentally preparing yourself for the kids!

Girls Galore said...

New pants might be great for you because your muffin top-less. Big show off!

Oh, and I have a favor to ask....
Will you make me dinner with some of the new ingredients you and Janette bought?? Please?

Natalie Scott said...

OK, I just want to say to EVERYONE that you are not allowed to have an opinion on whether or not a woman should be allowed to breastfeed in public until you yourself have nursed at least as many kids as I have (4), some of which would NOT take a bottle. When you have older kids and a busy life it's not like you can just tell your newborn infant (who has to eat every 2 hours), "sorry, babe, you're going to have to wait till this PTA meeting is over" or "after the game is over sweetie." I stayed home a lot more with my first couple of kids so I could breastfeed at home (because OF COURSE it's more comfortable to nurse in private!!!) but there comes a time when it's simply not possible. I am as discreet as I possibly can be, try not to draw attention to myself or disturb others, but frankly I don't care if it makes everyone uncomfortable. My primary concern is that my little baby is hungry and I'm not going to let her starve/scream so others can feel more at ease. If it bothers you, don't look or leave.

There. I'm off my soapbox now.