Thursday, January 29, 2009

Things I learned about the rich and powerful...

1. Rich people don't cook. I searched high and low but found no trace of flour. I might as well of built a rocket, when I made some homemade rolls. The kids were shocked that such a thing was possible.

2. Rich people love bottled water as much as I do. There's nothing better than a cold bottle of Aquafina, and the rich never disappoint in that category. They, like me, firmly believe that the chlorine taste belongs in water. Long live Aquafina!

3. Rich people need large driveways to fit the cars of their slaves (they aren't really slaves; they get paid... I think...). Each day, there would be a minimum of 5 trucks/cars of the landscapers, interior designers, housekeeper, or pool maintenance crew, crowding the large driveway. It frustrated me to no end and I'm pretty sure I made some enemies of the lawn guys when I stumbled on their weed whacker and called them all worthless grass cutters.

4. Rich people have closets the size of my house to fit their massive inventory of clothing. I visited these little slices of paradise when I helped one of the girls pick out something to wear (There was never the argument, "I have nothing to wear!" but more of, "I have too much to wear and I can't remember what I own! Help me dig through these Rock and Republic jeans to get to my Juicy sweats!"). I didn't even know they made closets that large.

5. Rich people live behind bars. Seriously. In order to get to these people's house, you had to first get into the neighborhood, which you need a code to get into the gate. Then in order to get on their property, you have to have another code. I constantly kept forgetting the codes so Josh plugged them onto my phone. I'm going to sell the codes to anyone who is interested. If one of the lawn guy gets to you first, just know that I'll give you it for cheaper.

6. Lastly, rich people don't use keys. They have number code locks on their cars and doors and just hope that no one gets wind of the magic combinations. Luckily for them, there are so many different codes and so many different doors, no one really can remember the blasted codes. Not even the kids. "Hey____, what's the code to close the gate? The worthless grass cutters left it open again and since you guys leave your keys in your car and don't lock them, maybe we should close the gate." Response: "Oh. I can never remember it. It has a 6 in it..." Uh huh. Great. I guess it doesn't really matter since they don't lock anything, assuming because they can't remember the codes to unlock them.

8 comments:

Anjanette said...

What are you doing these days to be surrounded by the rich?

Seriously though...what have you been up to?

Jesse and Kimmie said...

Are you a nanny like me? If i was nannying for people that rich i think i would be distracted by all the toys in their home and be fired for child neglect :) so even though you call the landscapers "worthless grass cutters", I will still give you credit for that. More power to ya :)

Anonymous said...

I'm jealous you got to spend some time in a rich person's house. It sounds like the happiest place on earth. Will you tell me how many shoes they had?

Brooke said...

Yeah, give us a shoe count!! I only have one code to remember and I still have to put that in my phone! Sounds like a fun day at the office for you!!

Haylee said...

oh man... why don't you just take some of those juicy lounge outfits, I am sure they won't notice it is missing. they owe you at least that, for the other workers being in your way.

rvasay said...

It sounds like Argentina with the bars on everything but not so glamorous here! love you MOM

Natalie Scott said...

Remind me to never get rich. Happiness, Beez? I don't think so.

megship said...

The only thing appealing to me is the non-cooking part. Ah, to not have to cook........ And I am pretty sure it says somewhere in the great book that you can only take designer jeans with you to heaven so get as many as possible. Doesn't it?