Time flies!

Time flies when...

1. You go to work and the receptionist that is 108 years old and recently got plastic surgery to look 97 asks you to assemble 100,000 boxes. I looked at her, saw the sheer joy she had in bossing me around, and realized that my life might afterall, be a complete hellish wasteland. At least I took my boxes into the breakroom, where she couldn't watch and gain the sick satisfaction of knowing she had the ability to command and I to obey (like my sisters, I do not respond well to being told what to do).
   
2. Your friends come to visit you! Haylee and Annie are here, in California, witnessing all that is wonderful in San Diego. Probably not all, since we're not going to San Diego Zoo, SeaWorld, Disneyland, Six Flags, etc., but they will still undoubtedly have an incredible time since they are currently asleep in the next room and I am making to prepare them a delicious bowl of AppleJacks. I'm such a good friend.
3. You stop exercising and eat everything you could ever imagine would be bad for you and then get ready to jump into your old clothes, and realize that they don't fit right. They bulge here and lump up there. No wait, that isn't the clothes. Its my butt.
4. It is any day besides a work day and you realize you have to go back to assembling boxes for the 98 year old grandma with a face job the next day. Evil, evil woman...
   
5. While assembling the said boxes, you start contemplating how you could go and get your Masters, do some volunteer work, save the whales, etc. etc. etc. The second you leave work, however, you forget your noble ambitions and remember that you are perfectly content to sit and watch tv, getting dumber instead. You forget why we're even trying to save whales, what a whale is, how many whales you know, and think more on who is going to win Wipeout (the latest and greatest show on tv). Hahaha.... people go boom. Funny.
6. When you're eating Fruity Pebbles or anything else with high, perhaps toxic concentrations of sugar. Most things I eat fall into that category. Hence the size of my butt and the jiggle in my arms.
7. You start realizing that your dream job would be to work as an assassin. You fit easy into the mold -heartless, ruthless, desire to kill, enjoy the color black -and see that your calling is elsewhere. Assembling boxes is for chumps; you belong on a rooftop with a fine piece of weaponry sitting in your cold, calculating hands.
8. It is time to go and your vising friends are still holed up in their room, not even pretending to be awake. You stomp around, trying to 'accidentally' wake them up. They do not stir. You get angry and remember your future as an assassin, relax, and wait until they become your next assignment. They will rue the day they did not wake up when you wanted them to! Rue the day, I tell you!
9. You realize that you have absolutely lost your mind. I know I have. But who wouldn't with an ancient woman bossing me around, jiggly arms, and two friends who refuse to rise?