Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Into the corner

I'm tired of being tired. And I'm tired of Rip jamming his tiny head into the corner of his crib, wailing and waiting to be rescued. Seriously. He refuses to even consider sleeping through the night. He used to demand to be fed and now that I'm letting him cry it out at night, he has opted for plan B, which consists of him scooting himself into the nether part of his crib with his head crammed into the corner. I can't just let him cry because he just keeps jamming his wee body harder and harder into the corner, testing my motherly limits of compassion. I inevitably get up, drag him back to the starting line, plug the binky back in his mouth and wait for 3 hours later where I will undoubtedly do it all over again. He might be lazy, but he's pretty clever.

"Think you're just going to let me cry all night? We'll see. We'll see..."

He's so small and yet so evil. It's hard to do anything but be impressed by his sheer spite. He really is doing it out of spite, I'm sure. He's teaching me a lesson and I'm learning quick. I'm trying to determine if it would be better just to feed him at these merciless hours. Would he stop doing the head jamming thing?

Rip- "Nobody sleeps a solid 6 hours in this house! Nobody!"
Me- "No, of course not, your liege. Of course not. We would never. Pulling your small body from the perils of the corner of the crib at 3 in the morning is our greatest accomplishment! We desire more of it! Never sleep at night again, your wickedness."

Anyway, I think I'm just really tired and really hateful of all the idiots who have babies who willingly sleep through the night. Rip has done it a total of 4 times and that was months ago. And if you start volunteering advice, be prepared to find an evil package on your doorstep at 4 in the morning. And it will be wailing. And not rolling over.

13 comments:

LaLa said...

If you still lived here I would give you a full night's sleep for Christmas and let Rippy come have a slumber party with us. But you had to go and move! You could Fedex him to us. We miss him so much. Ya, we miss you guys too. Have you started saying, "oh my heck" yet? Don't do it Court.

Have you found a house to buy yet? You could leave Josh and his dumb job there and you and Rippy could come live in our guestroom...

P.S., Do you ride your ATV's to church or do you just walk? Sorry, I can't help myself.

Diane said...

I remember when little Rip would sleep peacefully for our marathon walks while Andrew screamed and demanded sugar. But, Andrew does sleep through the night. Maybe they could teach each other a thing or two. Oh, wait you moved. I hate you.

Diane said...

So, now that I know where your blog is, am I allowed to put it on my blog roll? Be honest with. I know that might be hard for you? :)

Anjanette said...

Haha. Only I'm not laughing at you...I'm laughing because it's all too familiar. Jackson wakes up 2-3 times a night. When I tell people this & they give me a look like I'm doing him a huge disservice by actually waking up & feeding him, I ignore it. Forget them. My kids hungry! (& not he's teething!) So I just take a nap (sometimes two) during the day when he goes down. I say, feed the hungry kid. It works for us because then we can all go back to bed! At 2am I want nothing more than to get back into bed for another 2 hrs until he wakes up for round 2. Sorry, I know that's advice. Please don't leave your crying Rip on my doorstep.

PS. Jackson has my eyes & earlobes & that's it. The rest is all James.

Anjanette said...

oops...that's "and NOW he's teething".

rvasay said...

What the heck!!(that was for Laura's benefit haha)
He sounds like he is really ready for rice cereal to me but you obviously do not appreciate the fact that he can scoot to the corner of his crib! He needs more attention I think! I would keep him ---oh wait a minute I have to finish this mission! Love you mucho

tu madre MOM

Betsy Lee said...

Wow! You're close by now! Sorry about the baby. You pretty much give up the luxury to sleep when you have kids. Even though my baby's sleeping through the night, she doesn't go to sleep until midnight and my son gets up at 6 am. I hear it's much better when the youngest is at least 2. I look forward to that day! :)

megship said...

Come over tomorrow and we can complain about our non-sleep together! Whether it is hunger, smashing self into crib corner, sickness, peeing on oneself, nightmare, etc., it doesn't matter. You pretty much need to accept that you will not be sleeping for the next....million years. Seriously. But really, come over tomorrow. I need someone to distract me from wanting to kill the children. You can not kill mine and I will not kill yours.

Shelli said...

Amy says, "at least baby Rip has his own room!!! and has not kicked his parents out of their bed!"

Because she has been sleeping on the couch for about two months - since Kelsie will do nothing but cry if she sees Amy when she wakes up at night.

Matt Asay said...

You clearly need a Plan B, too. Remove the bars from the crib. He'll learn, Cork. He'll learn. Show him that you're a step ahead!

M said...

I love your posts. I'm just a couple of months behind you...

Natalie Scott said...

I say you put him to bed in the middle of the floor and let him just "try" to find a corner! Muwahahaha :)

Yup. Kids=no more sleep the rest of your life. Sorry to say so, but sadly it's true (did I just quote Dr. Seuss?). In fact, right now I'm about to fall asleep on my keyboard.

I'm with mom...try some rice cereal before he goes to bed. But that's not advice, of course, that's just um, sisterly, um, concern.

Anonymous said...

You're my funniest sister.