Saturday, September 5, 2009

The Disgusto Manifesto

I would post pictures, I really would, if the Rip wasn't possibly the most disgusting baby to ever have lived. I say this all with a heart full of love and fondness, of course. It's just that he has the worst case of baby acne, and to add to his grotesque features, he has developed cradle cap, scale-like things all over his head. I hate it. It frustrates me to no end. It's like if there is a single gross thing that can happen to a baby, Rip is sure to break out with it. I'm starting to search for gross baby skin diseases on the internet, just to be prepared for when Rippy gets it. I have to mentally prepare myself.

We went to the beach today with some friends and I found myself hiding Rip in a blanket so no one could see his nastiness. I'm pretty sure one girl figured me to be an overly protective parent, little did she know I would have let the stray bum with one arm hold Rip, had he asked. On second thought, the bum would probably have been worried about contracting one of Rip's skin diseases and asked not to let the baby get too near. I don't blame him.

It just doesn't seem fair that my baby looks like he's been washed in acid and then scrubbed with a scouring pad. People often peer into his car seat and inevitably come up with, "Adorable!" or "Precious!" Come on people. His skin is trying to eat itself. Let's just call it what it is and be done with it. It makes me dislike the general public more than I already do. What's worse is that I feel responsible to acknowledge his nasty skin to every person who comes within 40 feet of him. It's exhausting. I'm exhausted. And Rip's skin is exhausted from trying to ooze and blemish so much. When this phase is over (likely never), I'll post a picture or two. Right now I'm too busy searching for cures for shingles, as I'm sure Rippy is on his way to getting it.

12 comments:

megship said...

Ha ha ha ha!!!! That is so hilarious! All babies get all the stuff! Quit freaking out!!

rvasay said...

Oh for heaven's sake CHILL It is normal. It will pass and I bet to the masses meaning everyone but his mother he is very cute! Now post some pictures because his acne will not show up anyway! I love you MOM

Boaffer said...

...Can I wear surgical gloves for the blessing??

LOL, just kidding sis, as Meg said all babies get baby acne and Emma has quite the case of cradle cap going right now...just finished washing her hair with head and shoulders...and I am not kidding.

He is a gorgeous little guy and will overcome your perceived physical imperfections and may be even get past his seemingly neurotic Mother. :-)

You are very very humorous though thanks for brightening my night as I was just about to go kill three of my little ones that are currently all screaming bloody murder for who knows what reason...

Natalie Scott said...

this too shall pass, but I know with the first one all those things seem like such a big deal! Trust me, Wynton was a nasty little bald man with acne and I remember feeling rather embarrassed about it. :)

Rip is just doing you a favor and getting through his "ugly" phase before the blessing and wedding. Isn't he thoughtful? You should be thanking him instead of being rude about him!

cameo said...

C'mon Court, I want to see some pictures! You are just too funny.

Haylee said...

hmmm... I feel really nervous about these things. But thanks to the reassuring words from your siblings, I think I will be more than willing to hold him and love him despite. I am so excited to see both of you!!! And I know that he actually does not look that bad because you have a tendancy to dramatize things. And don't let the bum hold your rip... I don't want him to, ok?

guytons said...

My son totally had this too!!!! They grow out of it I promise. But I totally know what you mean by not wanting people to look at him.

Amy said...

You are crazy. I just saw you yesterday and Rip looked adorable as everyone has been saying and really meaning it! Use a warm wet wash cloth and wipe his face about five times a day and get the softest tooth brush ever made and gently "scrub" the cradle cap with a little baby soap. Seemed to help when Olivia had both as well. You are so funny. And Ripkin IS adorable. In fact, after holding him yesterday, and even after her pooped on me, I really want a boy.

Brooke said...

They are all lying to you just to make you feel better. It never goes away. ;) Bindi went through the acne and everytime people saw her I had to swear I didn't beat my child, not yet anyways. And the whole Goliath issue, bindi and I was watching the Tyra banks show and decided we'd try out the binge and purge method, ya know, start her young so she keeps skinny.

The Fab Fabian Life said...

hey courtney-- it's heather. Stacy was just in UT and told me you had your baby! Congrats! He is so cute!! Can't wait til we are in SD again and can meet him!

Sienna never had the nasty skin but Malachi did-- the trick for us was covering his scalp in baby oil and comb all the scaley skin off, then bathe him and then use cetaphil lotion- and for the acne put a little hydrocortisone cream on and then cetaphil, it worked wonders for us-- hope it works for you!

Frazier Family said...

Give it a couple weeks to a month or so. It will go away. Max and Fox both had it. Fox worse than Max, but it will go away soon :) I totally understand though. It's embarrassing as a when they have shiznit all over their face!

Dayna said...

HAHAHAHAHA can i just say that I have been ignoring my child for the past 30 minutes while reading some of your latest posts-- literally crying with laughter? You are hilarious. I am so glad you have a blog so I can reap from your creative humor. Wish we could have chatted longer last night.... and incase your wondering.... SLEEPING PILLS SUCKED. I still woke up multiple times in the night... felt drugged... it was sucky. Anyway- I love that little Rip (acne or not) and the fact that my little Jayne made out with his scalp last night. That was awesome. I hope we can see you again before you leave!!!