Monday, September 12, 2011

Old enough for a minivan

Let me just start by saying that I hate those stupid secret questions you have to answer when trying to retrieve a forgotten password. I've been trying to hack into my own AT&T account and see what my current text messaging balance is (I got a text from AT&T telling me I was at least $20 over... not good), but I have no clue what my password is. So I've spent the last hour trying to figure out what famous person I would most like to meet, living or dead. Uhh... it seems like the secret question is a little too secret since I have no freaking clue and it's my secret question. I've literally put down every variation of Jerry Seinfeld I can think of and from there I'm plum out of ideas.

But that's beside the point (is there ever really a point?). I was talking to a bunch of ladies in the complex (our complex is considered the Wymount of Ithaca; scary), and they were all commenting on how Suzy (not the real name; I am protecting people's identity here) has the most amazing minivan (I really need to stop using these parenthesis to make side comments). They were lamenting on how Suzy's minivan has cameras in the back and tvs in the front and yadayadayada. What is so disheartening about all this is not that Suzy has a camera and a tv and I have a civic that barely holds two carseats, but that I have reached an age where a 'cool' minivan deserves the envying of my friends. I'm that old. Minivans! Imagine! I remember playing MASH as a kid and inevitably the car that was undesirable was either a garbage truck (which would actually be sort of cool... damn these parentheses!) or a minivan. Now look at me. Drooling over Suzy's van because it can fit a big stroller plus all your groceries plus the strangely huge umbrella I seem to be lugging around! Such luxury.

And it gets worse. It really hit me I was old when I was talking to all the ladies and someone mentioned bunions, which naturally led to comparing and contrasting bunions. I am fortunate to not have any bunions, but the fact that it did not strike me as strange or frightening that these women were comparing bunion surgery scars, leads  me to believe I am no longer 26, but 86. Put me in a home now, because I'm looking longingly at minivans and thinking about the recovery time of a bunion surgery. I am old.


mostlyprobably said...

It struck me that I am really old when I realized that I was an hour into a conversation with one of my friends about yogurt. Gross.

Natalie Scott said...

Yes! Welcome to the ranks! Minivans ARE in fact awesome. And now you have discovered the reason why every mom has one. Well, except for Meghan, but that is Ty's fault. Don't let Josh hold you back from minivan bliss.

I will add that I love it SO much more than our suburban. You think you're old? I have a freaking suburban AND minivan. And I choose to drive the minivan 99% of the time. Love.

rvasay said...

When I got my first minivan I was in heaven! I would have one now if I could. I guess I could but it would not be very practical for me. Well you are still very young and I doubt your neighbors bunnions are that impressive. Now Suzi----she is impressive---she has a minivan.

Sara said...

Just let Rip throw rocks at the
Minivan and no one will ever envy it again.
And who in the neighborhood has bunions? Barf

Boaffer said...

Mini-vans are very nice though I wish there was a bigger minivan...we do not want a prison van but can't even fit our posterity into a Suburban much less a minivan. Kenra does love ours compared to the Suburban we had that died.

It is nice to see you catching up to me in age...and so quickly!

megship said...

Yes, it is Ty's fault I don't own one. I do love minivans. You are old and you might as well hang it all up. You are washed out and lame now so accept it.

I will say that I look far cooler in my Pilot than anybody in their minivan but I still start to salivate when I see the bucket seats.

Dayna said...

oh my gosh i am laughing so hard right now i'm crying.

I miss you so much i can't even take it.

i have nothing else to say.

Lauren Stuart and Madeline Jane said...

SO true. Love the blog. Love the pics. Rip was a darling little baby!

The Patrona said...

This. Blog. Is. Freaking. Hilarious.

What a great find I have found. Love that it makes me laugh. Love that you're real. Love that you're not the typical blogger I usually seem to be stalking...the kind that make me feel like I am a dismal failure. Love that Josh married someone so cute.

Can't wait for more.

Lindsey said...

hooray! i am an incredible stalker and found your blog. sara was right, it is very entertaining. you are so right about this minivan thing.

Haylee said...

hahahahaha. that is so hilarious. Remember how much I have always loved minivans, though? ever since the cranberry bullet I have been standing up and fighting for the minivan nation. And jon is quite the competitor, so my dreams may be crushed, but I will never stop trying. Go minivans!!! especially the ones with captain seats!