So awesome

So Josh has been in Germany for the past 9 days. Yes. He left before Chet was 2 weeks old. Yes. I have considered a massive murder/suicide multiple times. Mostly at 7 am when both babies are awake and demanding something from me after only 4 hours of sleep. But Josh gets home tonight around midnight so starting tomorrow, I'm going to ignore both children as much as possible.

To give you a glimpse of what goes on at my house, let me give you a peak of what has been happening for the last 2 hours. I decided to forgo trying to accommodate either child and left Chet in his crib, half sleeping half screaming and Rip pulling out all my pots and pans and putting food crumbs in them so I could shower.

I started the water only to hear Rip sprinting towards the bathroom at a hundred miles per hour. I jumped in before he could see what he was missing out on. No such luck. He made it just in time to see me disappear behind the shower curtain. He responded by getting all the dirty clothes in the dirty clothes basket and throwing them into in the bathtub with me. Rather than fight the inevitable, I pretended nothing unusual was going on. I let him continue to toss a heap of clothes into the shower with me. He quickly tired of that and started dumping out the garbage can. Again, I ignored it (I mentioned that I'm tired, right? Normally I am only half as negligent). I think he sensed my surrender so he stopped the garbage dumping and found the floor air vent (something I'm usually very adamant he doesn't touch) to be much more interesting. He pulled that up and started shoving tampons he found under the sink down there. I only caught glimpses of this, since I was now trying to hurry out of the shower as fast I could so I could try and prevent some of the destruction.

After the worst shower ever, I brought screaming Chet downstairs to feed him and Rip followed us. While I was feeding Chet, Rip insisted on trying to cover Chet's face with a dirty spit-up blanket. Rip then took Chet's binky and threw it behind the 400 lb dresser I'm too wimpy to move. Rip got what was coming to him though when he continued rubbing his face all over Chet's face and Chet projectile vomited into Rip's eye. Rip started crying while I laughed my face off. His eyelashes were dripping spit up. It was so awesome. The words, "Well, you deserved it" were spoken multiple times in place of the sought-after comfort.

I'm sort of hoping that I just pass out unconsciously for the next 12 hours until Josh gets home. I mention I don't do newborns right? I hate the lack of sleep, the spit up, and the nursing 24 hours a day. I sort of am just waiting for Chet to be a year old. Although I suppose when he's that old he will also be throwing clothes into my showers and dumping out the garbage cans. Oh well. At least I won't smell like spit up.